Too Real For Reality TV

Alright well here it is: the raw truth of my experience.

We have all just been thrown into battle with the devil. Not metaphorically either. A literal battle. A spiritual battle.

I have been putting off this blog post for about a week now. I felt like I needed to process what happened before I go telling my story. To be “okay” with what I had experienced but I’m not okay. In fact I’m completely confused. There is still so much about it that I can’t understand or how or why or WHAT?!?!

But that’s one of the biggest reasons why I came on this trip. I’m ready to experience the uncomfortable. To really experience the relationship with God I was created to have! 

Anyways… since it’s been a week, to really understand what happened, this is what I have written in my journal that day.

Thursday February 7th 2013

“Welp. When we entered Moses’s church today [our translator and contact for the trip] I expected an easy service: someone gives a word from the bible, and then two others give their testimonies. Yah know. The typical ministry things we do. Well Moses wasn’t with us today. We had a different translator (Ruth) who really didn’t tell us what we were doing there. NONE of us knew. There were 12 Malawi women there and then the 8 of us. 

Well we just did our normal routine and then at the end Catherine asked if anyone needed prayer. A couple woman stood up and walked to the front where we were standing. One little old woman, Maureen, came directly over to me and spoke Chechwah that Ruth translated “I pray for strength to pray and worship God”. She wanted to love God so desperately. I could see it in her straining old eyes.

I put out my hand for her to grab it as I prayed for her (as normally people do) but she didn’t want to touch me. She pulled away. I then took her hand in mine with enough force to let her know I’m fighting for her but tenderly enough to let her know I care. And began to pray.

As I prayed she became stiff. Her body violently shook and her hand contorted away from mine, pulling away from me. 

WHAT THE DEUCE IS GOING ON?!? (the only thing I was thinking)

I paused, taken aback, and the shaking stopped. When I stopped Bayle came over to the woman as well and began to pray over her. And Maureen’s fragile body began to quake again: trying to pull away from the hands we were laying on her. 

I have heard stories of demon possession and oppression and casting out demons but I was always skeptical. And to be honest I never truly believed in the unseen world of demons and spirits. (Even if it clearly says in 2 Corinthians 4:18 “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal”) But I had been praying for miracles before I even left for training camp.

“I want miracles in your name, God! Give me miracles! GIVE AFRICA MIRACLES!”

but…now? This is happening NOW?!?! whoa. okay. I’m not ready but here we go….

The harder she shook, the harder and louder I began to pray and sing and rejoice in God’s power. The Holy Spirit was SO present in that place. We prayed over Maureen and her oppression. To be released: set free. This was SO REAL! 

After what seemed to be an eternity of prayer I finally felt a release. I don’t know how to describe it but I knew that whatever had been inside Maureen was leaving. But my chest felt tight. My heart hurt. I was week as if I had just finished a swim workout and couldn’t catch my breath. 

She stopped shaking and stumbled backwards. With tears still beading down our faces I kissed Maureen’s hands and lifted them to the air in victory. I know the battle is over. And we won! In Jesus’s Holy Name, and through God’s inexplicable WE WON! 

Never. Never have I witnessed something that powerful and that much of God and that much confusion!

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?

 (Ding, ding, ding Round 2) 

I tried letting out a deep breath to release the tension still sitting in my lungs but nothing changed. I sat down with Bayle to pray and thank God but really the only thing I wanted to do was run. “Get out of this church! You can’t be here. Something is after you!” (My thoughts at the time). I was being attacked. It seemed like whatever was in Maureen was now after me. Catherine came over to me and asked if I was alright… but I wasn’t. So we went outside and …instant tears. I was sobbing, trying to catch my breath all the while.

I knew whatever I had just gone through was just SO REAL! And I couldn’t figure out why I felt the way I did. Catherine then prayed over me for whatever evil spirits that were trying to come in be cast out in the name of Jesus. And literally that feeling left instantaneously. I caught my breath and all I wanted to do was dive into the Bible. I want more, more of God’s power revealed! I am a fresh believer. So Real.”

God specifically used me for this demonstration of his power. It wasn’t an accident. There are no accidents. I was the underdog and had no idea what I was doing, but God has a knack of using the unexpected to do great things. And this is just the beginning. 

It isn’t an accident that Bayle was there to pray for Maureen or Catherine praying for me. Or all of us. There is just so much more of the story to be told from different perspectives. We are all a part of a greater story: God’s story. (1 Corinthians 12:27 “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it”) 

1 Corinthians 2:5 “So that your faith might not rest in human wisdom, but on God’s power”  

SO REAL! SO POWERFUL! SO REVEALED!

SO REAL! SO POWERFUL! SO REVEALED!